Computer Games are Evil?

Computer Games make you violent and numb your brain.

This is a common arguement I find often on online forums and websites (mainly religious ones). So, to defend my Gaming Honour I have devised a list of computer games and what they have taught me about being violent (and about life in general).

1. FireArms- You WILL die in war. A stray bullet will make you bleed to death. You pack up on armour only to be killed by one bullet to the face. Your grenade will not go off when you need it most. In short: you WILL die.
2. Counterstrike and Vampire Slayer- Ahh, the infamous and controversial Counterstrike (And the unknown Half-life mod Vampire Slayer). This lesson goes hand in hand with the above argument. Dieing is NOT fun. When you're dead you are dead and can't do anything.
3. Half-Life 2- While catching things on fire seems like fun, hearing their muffled agonized cries of pain will keep you up for weeks. And that's when you catch a ZOMBIE on fire, in a GAME. I'd hate to do that in real life. Also, problem solving skills. Can't beat that siege situation? Build a staircase out of their! How about bring an extra turret from the beggining to the end to help you out! (Yes, I have done both of these)
4. Team Fortress Classic- Working together as a team to complete a common objective against a tough opponent (CTF Casbah, we were four enginneers against 20 scouts) is always more fun than mindless slaughter. It also teaches things like communication, leadership and team skills.
5. Wolfenstien- Nazis = dirty rotten scumbags.
6. Doom- If the devil ever comes knocking on my door I'll just grab my shotgun (it's kept beside my door) and double-barrell blast his arse out of here.
7. Assassins- Being a paid killer sucks. As for some reason you'll be the target of everyone, including yourself.
8. Hitman- Being a Hitman would suck as my graphics card could never handle it. :(
9. HL Heroes and Ricochet- (Hahahahahahahahahahaha ahh hahahahahaha whahahahahahahaha hah ha hah haaa.) "For the Lulz" is better than getting agood KDR (Kill:Deaths ratio)
10. Red Alert 2- Going along the theme of you WILL die in war. No matter how trained you are, or how prepared you are, even if you and your twenty mates have sat up sand bags and fortifications you will STILL get pwned by a bunch of Attack Dogs.
11. Age of Empires, Age of Mythology and Empire Earth- Economic warfare can be sooo much more fun than straight out warfare. Also, management skills. But most of all, this taught me so much history without me realizing it. I still use AOE today as source of knowledge. In year seven and eight when we learnt medieval history I already new half the wars, half the troops formations, half the weapons of war (trebachets, magonals, scorpions were some I could add that nobody had heard of)
12. Knights of the Old Republic (And most RPGs at that)- While evil may look tempting, being good is always more satisfying (Hmm, that sounds suspiciously like what the bible preaches. And IT isn't evil IS it?)
13. Croc and Rayman- Looking out for the little guys is fun and rewarding.
14. Portal- You don't need to have a gun to be successful, cool, solve problems etc.
15. Dawn of War- Even if you may think you are killing for the good, someone else will think you're doing it for the bad. Also, great micromanagement skills developed.
16. Simcity 4, SimTower and SimIsle- If you can't cheat in a game, than you certainly can't cheat in real life.
17. Sims- You mean talking about common interests helps gain a relationship? Setting fire works off inside is a BAD idea? Fixing a t.v. while standing in water can get you killed? Friendliness between neighbours is
better than rivalry (Damn Jerry!)
18. Evil Genius- Violence should only be used as a last resort (psychological weakening people.) Management skills and problem solving skills.
19. Earth 2150- We need to look after our planet or else we'll go spiralling into the sun. War = bad + more war = Even more badness + even more war. Careful time and resource managment.
20. Call of Duty, Battlefield, TFC, any game with poorly developed Bots- While your friends may be annoying and stupid at times you should put up with them as they'll pull you out of some pretty tight situations at times.

0'm4113y

Year 10-isms

With Year 10 finally coming to a close I have decided to document some of the lowest points of my classes abilities. All of the following were said by Year 10 students, and goes to show that some of us are just really, really stupid.

[Upon the class (finally) deciding the capital of the U.S.A. is in fact Washington and not London] "But I thought the capital of America was George W. Bush."

[After studying the Cold War for half a year] "Are we communist or capitalist?" and "What's communism?"

I Jokingly said: "Russia is in northern Africa", the person I was speaking to replied (seriously): "Okay, thanks."

[Ten minutes before the History School Certificate test] "What's the Cold War?" (having given up, I replied sarcastically "A war fought in an Arctic environment". They believed me. I'll feel incredibly guilty if they fail their SC)

[After studying To Kill a Mocking Bird for the passed two months] "I thought Boo Radley was the dog."

"Who is Hitler anyway?" [At first I thought she wanted some in depth information, but no, she had no idea at all]

Too many Geographical mistakes to list, but some include: Not being able to label the continents; not being able to find Russia (Hint: It's the BIG one), the U.S.A. or Britain; getting countries and continents mixed up ( e.g "I know where Asia is, it's in China")

And the winner is:

"Isn't Australia in the Northern Hemisphere?"

Have any of your classmates ever said anything really, really dumb? If so, feel free to post them.

Damn The English Language

Now, I know that English is a constantly evolving language, which is great. While I may hate Americans for spelling Colour Color, and Favourite Favorite, I can get over it. The Germans probably thought the same thing about the English a few hundred years back (and the Romans, and the Welsh and the Greeks and pretty much every culture) because we stole adapted their languages into our own.
However, there are a number of words that have been added to the English dictionary that are, well, abominations.
To begin with:

Muggle- n. In the fiction of J.K. Rowling: a person who possesses no magical powers. Hence in allusive and extended uses: a person who lacks a particular skill or skills, or who is regarded as inferior in some way.
The Oxford Dictionary says this was added due to being used so much. But who uses it out of a Harry Potter context? I have never ever heard anyone being referred to as a muggle. But don't worry, they made the definition so in a round about sort of way it could possibly, maybe, be used to refer to someone of less skill.

Grrrl- a young woman perceived as strong or aggressive, esp. in her attitude to men or in her expression of feminine independence and sexuality. A member of a movement expressing feminist resistance to male domination in society and esp. to the abuse and harassment of women.
Okay, great, a word to describe a young feminist. That sounds pretty good, wait, what does it sound like? How exactly do you pronounce “Grrrl”. I think this must be the first word in the dictionary without a vowel or “Y” as a substitute. What are they going to teach in primary schools now? Every word has a vowel or a Y, or three “R”s are in row. The website Cracked.com (who did an article pretty much just like this) put it like this:
“Call us tools of the male chauvinist patriarchy, but even the wacky sound effects from the 60s Batman TV show had vowels in them. That's right; this is less of a word than ZWWAP!”

Lookism- n. Prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of appearance.
The idea behind this word isn’t that bad, but seriously, “Look”ism? Surely as a race we can come up with a better word than that. This just goes to show you can pick any word, stick ism on the end and BAM! a new and kinky word is born. Why not have Smartism (discrimination based on intelligence), Bookism (discrimination based on how books you read), Strengthism (discrimination on how strong you are.)

Bouncebackability- n. The ability to recover from near-defeat in a competition; the ability to recover from a setback.
Hey, they just put together Bounce Back and Ability into the one word, (forming a new and kinky one). And wait a second, “The ability to recover from near-defeat in a competition; the ability to recover from a setback.” Don’t they already have a word for that? Resilience? But hey, why say resilience when you can say the nice simple Bouncebackability. The comedian Adam Hills did an entire segment on this word.

Meatspace- The real world, opposed to the virtual world.
Great, so now we need a word to distinguish between reality and LOLcats. Great. And hey, way to go calling all of us pieces of meat. Nice one!

Unfriend- Remove someone as a friend on a social networking website
This is the most recent addition to the Dictionary, and was The Oxford Dictionary’s Word of the Year. Word of the Year!? Once again, no-one is going to use this out of context. Just like muggle was only going to be used about Harry Potter, this will only be used on MySpace and Facebook. And if it does spill out into the real world… [shudders]. A representative of the Oxford dictionary said it is UNfriend, not DEfriend, it’s like undo. So next time someone annoys you, simply undo your relationship and all is good!
This was made word of the year? Surely there are better words out there, lets look at the runners up:

Tramp stamp - A tattoo on the lower back, usually on a woman
Ah, classy.
Intexticated - Distracted by texting while driving
Pun! Everyone LOVES puns right.
Netbook - A very small, very portable laptop
Whoa! This one actually DOES make some sort of sense.
Deleb - A dead celebrity
Man, I’m not even going to start on this one…
Funemployed - Taking advantage of newly unemployed status to have fun or pursue other interests
See! Everyone DOES love puns!
Birther - A conspiracy theorist who challenges President Obama's US birth certificate
As someone who lives outside of the U.S. I know very little about this conspiracy, but this is another example of the context thing. In ten years time when Obama’s reign of terror/peace and prosperity is over WHO is going to be able to use this word?


Man. That was much longer than I thought it would be. I suppose I have a lot of anger pent up inside of me. But before I go, a short story set in the not-so-distant future:

she thought she was like all great n al an such a grrrl but she was totally a muggle. she was famous but that like doesn’t mean she go round being such a ho. she like is totally a hore 2. u should see her tramp stamp. But she got wat was coming, that teachs the deleb 4 driving while intexticated. but hey, that was all in meatspace and who cares about that?

Welcome

If you're reading this you are probably a sibling or you have been tricked somehow into reading this blog (if not, out right forced).
Here I'll post all the latest news on the current Zompocalypse, my defence for computer games and probably insult the intelligence of my Year 10 class (thank God there is only a few more weeks left).
Until then, goodbye.