Saturday, December 5, 2009

Computer Games are Evil?

Computer Games make you violent and numb your brain.

This is a common arguement I find often on online forums and websites (mainly religious ones). So, to defend my Gaming Honour I have devised a list of computer games and what they have taught me about being violent (and about life in general).

1. FireArms- You WILL die in war. A stray bullet will make you bleed to death. You pack up on armour only to be killed by one bullet to the face. Your grenade will not go off when you need it most. In short: you WILL die.
2. Counterstrike and Vampire Slayer- Ahh, the infamous and controversial Counterstrike (And the unknown Half-life mod Vampire Slayer). This lesson goes hand in hand with the above argument. Dieing is NOT fun. When you're dead you are dead and can't do anything.
3. Half-Life 2- While catching things on fire seems like fun, hearing their muffled agonized cries of pain will keep you up for weeks. And that's when you catch a ZOMBIE on fire, in a GAME. I'd hate to do that in real life. Also, problem solving skills. Can't beat that siege situation? Build a staircase out of their! How about bring an extra turret from the beggining to the end to help you out! (Yes, I have done both of these)
4. Team Fortress Classic- Working together as a team to complete a common objective against a tough opponent (CTF Casbah, we were four enginneers against 20 scouts) is always more fun than mindless slaughter. It also teaches things like communication, leadership and team skills.
5. Wolfenstien- Nazis = dirty rotten scumbags.
6. Doom- If the devil ever comes knocking on my door I'll just grab my shotgun (it's kept beside my door) and double-barrell blast his arse out of here.
7. Assassins- Being a paid killer sucks. As for some reason you'll be the target of everyone, including yourself.
8. Hitman- Being a Hitman would suck as my graphics card could never handle it. :(
9. HL Heroes and Ricochet- (Hahahahahahahahahahaha ahh hahahahahaha whahahahahahahaha hah ha hah haaa.) "For the Lulz" is better than getting agood KDR (Kill:Deaths ratio)
10. Red Alert 2- Going along the theme of you WILL die in war. No matter how trained you are, or how prepared you are, even if you and your twenty mates have sat up sand bags and fortifications you will STILL get pwned by a bunch of Attack Dogs.
11. Age of Empires, Age of Mythology and Empire Earth- Economic warfare can be sooo much more fun than straight out warfare. Also, management skills. But most of all, this taught me so much history without me realizing it. I still use AOE today as source of knowledge. In year seven and eight when we learnt medieval history I already new half the wars, half the troops formations, half the weapons of war (trebachets, magonals, scorpions were some I could add that nobody had heard of)
12. Knights of the Old Republic (And most RPGs at that)- While evil may look tempting, being good is always more satisfying (Hmm, that sounds suspiciously like what the bible preaches. And IT isn't evil IS it?)
13. Croc and Rayman- Looking out for the little guys is fun and rewarding.
14. Portal- You don't need to have a gun to be successful, cool, solve problems etc.
15. Dawn of War- Even if you may think you are killing for the good, someone else will think you're doing it for the bad. Also, great micromanagement skills developed.
16. Simcity 4, SimTower and SimIsle- If you can't cheat in a game, than you certainly can't cheat in real life.
17. Sims- You mean talking about common interests helps gain a relationship? Setting fire works off inside is a BAD idea? Fixing a t.v. while standing in water can get you killed? Friendliness between neighbours is
better than rivalry (Damn Jerry!)
18. Evil Genius- Violence should only be used as a last resort (psychological weakening people.) Management skills and problem solving skills.
19. Earth 2150- We need to look after our planet or else we'll go spiralling into the sun. War = bad + more war = Even more badness + even more war. Careful time and resource managment.
20. Call of Duty, Battlefield, TFC, any game with poorly developed Bots- While your friends may be annoying and stupid at times you should put up with them as they'll pull you out of some pretty tight situations at times.

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